Tantra teaches that ALL parts of me are welcome, and even encouraged!
From the very first practice, I felt held in a loving blanket of acceptance. There was an invitation to love every part of me that arose and was showing up, moment to moment.
I was encouraged to express my rage, my sadness, my fear, my ecstatic joy and not to reject any of these. I have to admit this was not easy to step into.
I was invited to delve deep into the places I would never dare admit publicly or say out loud. Those icky places I was hoping could stay hidden for eternity were welcomed and celebrated in a way I have never really experienced before. There is an essence of shamelessness in Tantra that is quite refreshing.
I introduced my inner Self-Righteous Bitch (photo attached) to my Certification group of 200+ sisters, and immediately felt a depth of healing throughout my body.
We spend SO MUCH of our energy, fighting with ourselves internally, that when we stop trying to hide, to shove away, to repress, that energy becomes liberated for us to use in our everyday lives!! This is powerful.
Tantra allows me to dive deep into my trauma, and feel like I'm not broken after all...
For most of my life and long-term relationship, I was one of those “low libido” kind of gals. I had a palpable sexual energy to the outside world, but inside my body, it was like someone had blown out the candle and I had no idea where the lighter went. This was the case, for so long I had just assumed it was an internal glitch in the system. For a while I wondered if it was my marriage, and I eventually just resigned to the idea that I must be broken.
And this could not be further from the truth!
I simply had to learn HOW to spark my flame (as we are not taught this in school!).
And my path to Fire, was through Water:
- A gentle and gradual focus.
- A loving acceptance and series of emotional releases around my childhood sexual molestations, alongside other events that I was surprised to discover were playing a big role on my body's way of being and functioning. This is a process that keeps unravelling.
- Tantric practices to help move energy around my body and pussy.
- DEEP, ongoing conversations with the parts of me that resist this desire, this pleasure, and all of the beautiful ecstatic experiences that this body can offer!
Tantra invites my Desires to come to fruition!
I was the classic entrepreneur that never made any money. An expert dreamer with grand outcomes that always came with a massive glitch: a serious lack of funds.
In Spring of this year, and the first few months of my Tantric Certification, I was utterly devoted to my practices and was keen to be learning the art of Sex Magic.
A fun practice that brings together sexuality, our deepest of desires and how to manifest them into our reality. Stay tuned, you will be hearing a LOT more about this.
I imagined the life I had been dreaming of for quite a while, but that still felt LIGHT YEARS away from being ready to bloom... Two weeks later, we were visiting our beautiful island of Tenerife and registering our kids for school in the coming Fall.
The doors were flinging wide open I tell ya!
All I had to do, was walk through.
So I did.
We have been living in Tenerife for a couple of months now. Still learning the ropes (and Spanish!) but there is a sense of peace here that is so healing, so much beauty surrounds us, this helps reset any hopes of staying grumpy we might have...
Tantric practices touch the root of my soul, and call it forward to be seen and play in its full power!!
I can comfortably speak about this now, but it wasn't the most pleasant of discoveries at the time: One of the greatest challenges to becoming successful, to making money, to feeling a depth of pleasure in my body involved getting acquaited with a MASSIVE wall of unworthiness. This felt icky to discover, but was incredibly empowering to begin mastering.
Tantric practices bring us closer and closer to our original essence, to the core of who we are, by slowly, gently unmasking the perfection that lies underneath.
I can share with you now, that my very first glimpse of REAL worthiness felt like the energy of the Universe had suddenly filled my body with wholeness and truth.
Once we embody this truth, our body KNOWS where to go to experience this again. The doors have been opened, every part of us wants to get back there. As this feels safe, and GOOD!!
And I can't tell you how many people I have met and coached, that suffer from the same masking over their own perfection. Especially those of us who grew up with spiritual or religious upbringings.
When the body feels ALIVE with worthiness, it ultimately leads to our FREEDOM!!
Tantra teaches that working with the BODY, creates the change you've been searching for.
In his book, The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk highlights many circumstances where talk therapy or coaching does not go deep enough to create the transformations that are desired, or required. And after years of continuous internal fighting, I would definitely place myself into this category : )
Working with the body lends itself to successful transformation, as it allows us to dive into the depths of the oldest part of our brain (reptilian) that only “talking” does not reach. To understand more around this concept, feel free to read this amazing (albeit intense) book. You can find it here: The Body Keeps The Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma
From my teachings and personal experience with Tantric practices and from what I have witnessed in my clients: this part of our brain is akin to the Root Chakra and it can be communicated with using body-based practices that help open the doors to our sense of safety, love and belonging to our tribe. Once these doors are open, we can begin taking actions that are truly in alignment with the truth of who we are TODAY. Slowly melting away the protective mechanisms that were once needed for our survival, but are now hindering our ability to truly thrive in our lives.
Science meets Mysticism and it all starts to make sense.
If my path to Tantra has inspired you...
Please join in the movement and get acquainted with YOUR Sensual Revolution!
I'm Xine La Fontaine, Tantra & Desire Coach, Shamanic Soul Retrieval Practitioner and FireStarter 🙂
I send a sassy weekly Love Letter that speaks from the heart. I love offering Tantric and Shamanic tips, tricks and tools through blog posts such as these, and bi-weekly videos to help spice up your life with more energy and meaning.
Gents, you are more than welcome too! As this work involves ALL of us and I am all up in the business of empowering both women and men who feel disconnected or disengaged from their inner flame of sexual DESIRE, move towards feeling a juicy and powerful aliveness in their body, relationship, work and life again!
It would be my pleasure to connect in your inbox:
(Main photo taken by Veruschka Normandeau at MagicWood Studios)