After undergoing a somewhat frantic 24-hour period, I decided to write out the process I undergo to move through issues when the shit hits the fan… with an aim to work things out for myself, as well as possibly helping someone else out there reading this, who needs to hear this message today.
It has been one of those big boom kind of days when nothing seems to go right. We have just recently entered a Mercury retrograde period and I’m feeling those techno-snags big time!
Just to set the stage, I am currently approaching a relatively transformative trip to Hawaii, where I will be hosting my first live island retreat. When big scary moves approach, “things” start to happen in my life… I thought that maybe I could get away from it this time, but it seems that, to my utter disappointment, I am not superhuman…
The grandeur seems much less than say, a simultaneous outbreak of lice, bedbugs and scabies this time around, but there is still a decent-sized mountain of challenges to overcome as things get rolling and it begs an observation and open mind to ensure that the effort going in is what is best needed to move through it all with ease…
It all began last night… when AirBnB hilariously decided to send an erroneous message to the owner of the space we are renting for our Hawaiian retreat, telling him that I no longer needed this space… Hahaha! Isn’t that funny? OMG, total panic.
After a few back and forth, unpleasant and oddly sarcastic interactions, I thankfully regained the local for our retreat, but the energy surrounding this event is not at all what I would have dreamed of, moving forward into this great experience…
As I awoke this morning, I encountered several other “mishaps”.
One involving no longer having access to my North American PayPal account, which it the one I primarily use to exchange funds in those neck of the woods… This PayPal issue had been going on for a good six months. I have been observing how it unfolds, and directly associating it to my openness to abundance… I lost. 🙁
A second… After having booked a rather expensive rental for a small group of us, just following the retreat, I received message from a girlfriend of mine announcing an error that meant we would have to pay quite a bit more money to get over to that specific island. Facebook somehow didn’t send this message through as it came in… but right after I had already reserved the rather expensive rental.
And third… My husband walked in and announced that he got a parking ticket we will have to pay off. All of this before 10am in the morning. Phew… That’s enough of that!
When we have days like these (and we all have them…), what can we do with all this shitty pile of nasty? Where do we begin? In the past, I would have felt really angry, or tried to control every element and fought like a crazy person, exhausting myself in the process, without necessarily obtaining the results I wanted anyways.
Here’s where things have shifted recently.
When the shit hits the fan, I get into ultra “listening mode”. I start paying really close attention to what is going on around me. I let myself get very sensitive and check in on where I need my energy to be, to figure this out.
Becoming sensitive, speaks to our connection to our senses
What has been going on lately, that helps me understand my predicament? And what fears lie directly beneath all of these situations?
– I am approaching the retreat and this is a scary up-levelling for me:
Fear that lies underneath: “Can I really pull this big dream of mine off?”
– I am approaching the retreat and there is some serious self-gratifying vacation time in there:
Fear that lies underneath: “Do I really deserve this time for myself?”
– I am attempting to work with the energy of money and creation of abundance:
Fear that lies underneath: “Do I REALLY have the power to be the Creator of my own Life… which is essentially the work that I am teaching others?” Ouch… this one hurt like a bitch.
Where do I feel these emotions and fears in my body?
When noticing and experiencing these emotions and fears, where can I notice it lives in my body? A knot in my stomach… a radiating feeling in my left or right side…. A dullness in my lower abdomen…?
Once I have identified where this sits, can I relax into that bodily sensation and let the fear or emotion reside there, instead of contracting it to try and control it? Relaxing into it, and essentially accepting it, allows this emotion to release and dissipate instead of being stuffed back in to burst forth at another inopportune moment in the future.
Sitting with those fears and letting them exist ensures they have a chance to speak… which in turn means we are listening… and listening to our bodies and opening to what life brings forth is a HUGE form of self love that goes a long way in activating confidence and a general sense of wellbeing. We become more sensitive, more aware of our senses, more sensual.
It also helps these fears move through their life-span much faster than if we were to contract, repress, stuff back in for future explosion (or even illness, in some cases…). Be aware that this process can take a while. We have to give it the time it needs to relax, release.
Does this process of acknowledging and allowing our emotions to exist ensure smooth sailing, fear-free forever? Nope!
And in fact, I am warning you, this process is not easy. Letting emotions and fears come to the surface and speak is uncomfortable and extremely humbling. We generally don’t like what we hear… that’s why they are stuffed into the background. But once we begin this way of approaching it, there is no going back to the old way of simply repressing…
The way I see it, it hurts for a while, but if we can get through the uglies, and accept them, we feel SO MUCH BETTER! And we are more equipped to deal with the next obstacle, knowing exactly where our fears lie and how to work with them!! It’s friggen brilliant.
What are the lessons that need to be learned through this series of apparent fuck ups?
As I sat with all the above issues, piled in front of me at 10am in the morning. I was not feeling great. But I was not feeling as horrible as I would expect… because I knew I had the tools to deal with this. And just knowing this made a world of difference in the level of optimism and confidence with which to approach the issues, one at a time.
During the recent New Moon, I opted to do an intention-setting ritual, as I usually do, which often involves pulling Oracle cards. This time around, I used the Messenger Oracle deck by Ravynne Phelen.
I chose two cards. The first was entitled “Change is unavoidable”, speaking of letting go of resistance, relaxing into the movements of life without trying to control everything…
The second card was entitled “Need and Necessity” and it said: “Ask yourself – Is there a genuine need to act? Is change necessary for your continued wellbeing and happiness? If the answer is yes, then act. If the answer is no, then do not”. A very interesting polarity between the two cards.
In so many ways… all of the issues related back to this very simply question:
When is it time to make big changes, take action… and when is it time to simply sit and deal with all the issues as they arise?
We encounter this question so many times throughout our lives…
When is is time to leave our relationship and when is it best to stay with it and deal with the problems?
When is it time to leave our job and when is it best to sit and deal with the issues we are having in this position?
When is it time to leave this city… or when is it best to face the issues that are coming up, dealing with every element, one at a time?
Looking back at each problem that had come up during this very interesting morning, I was curious to see where this question could help?
With the first scenario, where our retreat location was almost lost due to an AirBnB techno-glitch…
I noticed that I had felt an immediate sense of panic, heart racing, sweats, shaking in the body. My go-to reaction of trying to control everything was strong… naturally. But this didn’t last very long. As I was discussing with my partner in crime for the retreat, Jessica Darlington (thanks for this gentle soul in my life in these moments), we discussed what the best course of action might be, what we were feeling, what we could change in our way of seeing the situation… In the end, we both had the same feeling: a shaky, uncertain, loose ground for our retreat. We both felt the need to begin constructing a back-up plan… Taking action felt right here, but not necessarily letting go just yet. Applying a security measure gave us comfort.
When thinking about the PayPal account. I immediately felt defeat. I had tried hard to get this to work for over six months, but couldn’t and I felt this was the time to let it go. This would require some changes and taking action to reestablish a secure payment system in Europe where I live.
For the post-retreat rental (aka delayed Facebook message scenario), I felt the issue as a stress, but not a panic. It felt disappointing because it meant more money, but there was still a very open and inviting pull to go to this island after our retreat. I could intuitively feel at once the obstacle and the invitation.
When I get to scenarios like this, and feel I need some more guidance, I tend to request that life sends answers in some way… whatever that might look like. And this requires to once again, be open to receiving these answers. Becoming sensitive.
So with the intention of understanding more about my predicament, I set out for a walk in the sun with my dog Zero. I was following nothing but my gut instinct, the sun, and the occasional pit stop for a puppy poop… At a certain point in our leisurely stroll, I turned into an alleyway that was clearly calling me forward more than an other. Just a feeling, nothing in particular. But I was in receiving mode, so I was listening! As I walked on this street… I noticed it was quite an uphill slant, I felt a strong wind moving in the opposite direction as I was walking, essentially blowing in my face, and observed a truck coming towards us, taking up most of the width of the alleyway, which meant that I had to move to the side of the alley with the dog. Regardless of the obstacles, I still very much felt as though this was the path I wanted to take.
And the message was then clear: “Can you move forward with your intuition, your dream, even through the obstacles that will show up along the way?” Dang…
The minute I settled into this idea and kept moving forward, the sun came out big time, super warm and gorgeous… this felt like a big fat confirmation of my message received.
– For one, this big time confirmed that my desire to head over to Molokai after our retreat was a good idea. Even if there are obstacles getting in the way…
– My fears, even if present, are not real. They are simply my ego trying to protect me, to get me back into that nice and familiar comfort zone… preventing me from doing the things that scare me.
– The retreat location issue is ongoing, but it requires some focused attention and likely some sort of action.
– Are my issues that big a deal? I mean really… I’m friggen going to Hawaii and there are things coming up. Poor, poor baby. Things feel so big when we are in the thick of it don’t they?
The overall results of the process I wrote out above, genuinely aid in shortening the life span of our problems. Instead of spending a ton of time with the glass half empty, complaining, whining, etc. We simply deal with what arises, feel the pain, observe what comes up and then go back to living with the glass half full! It reduces the amount of time we spend in “problem mode”. Opens us to more happiness, more optimism, more love, without resisting the issues that do come up. No life is lived without a few bumps in the road… but it’s so much easier when we have tools to deal with them.
Because we are confident in knowing we can manage our situation, we no longer feel that sense of devastated defeat… we are strong in our issues, stand tall and courageous even when the shit hits the fan around us.
We essentially begin to feel disconnected from the problem at hand, and this is huge!
We are not our hurricane.
To revise the steps above:
1- Problems hit…
2- Get into ultra “listening mode”. Start paying really close attention to what is or has been going on around you lately. Feel into the vulnerabilities that lie underneath…
3- Once you have an awareness of the situations at hand, where do you feel these emotions and fears in your body? Relax into them, allow them to speak.
4- What are the lessons that need to be learned in what is occurring? Be open to receiving this lesson.
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Thank you, and REALLY looking forward to connecting… <3