After years of avoidance…
I finally stepped onto the path of diving deep into my sexual story. Even with 20 years of Energy Work under my belt, there was always “something” that felt off. Almost like I wasn’t hitting the right issue. And that THING was preventing me from opening up completely! Both to myself, and to others.
In some ways, this story came forth, less by choice, but more like: the time had arisen and I heeded the call. Our body’s intelligence is incredible and it attempts to communicate with us all the time. But the question always comes back to, “are we truly listening?”
Once it became clear to me what was going on, I chose to get assistance to embark on this journey. It has been fascinating to witness how much a woman (or man!) can undergo within the lifetime of his/her sexual story.
As I began writing out this story, I thought, “I don’t have too much going on here, it should be pretty easy…” only to discover there was MUCH more to it, than I realized. It kept going on and on!!
From the influence of how our parents showcased sexuality for us (or not at all), to how we experienced our awakening as a teenager. Shameful? Secretive? Not to be spoken about?
From that really awkward first experience, to however we have opened up to, or continue to push away those desires we have inside. “Am I normal? Perverted? If anyone REALLY knew what I think about…” or on the opposite end of the spectrum, “if I don’t think about these things all the time, does this make me frigid, abnormal, unexciting?”
And of course, there are the heavier details. The sexual abuse, the complicated birth, the abortion. We were too young…
For women, this includes pregnancy. For both men and women, fertility.
And then always, the fun and exciting adventure of hormones!
ALL of these details, and their stories, have an immense influence on how we live our lives every day. On our ability to RECEIVE! Receive love, pleasure, abundance in many forms (including money!), caring for ourselves, receiving care from others.
We block out those past situations that bring discomfort. Numb them, ignore what is trying to come to the surface and if we don’t pay attention, work with them, “something” creeps in to let us know it’s time to face this. Sometimes this can take the shape of an illness.
I started getting unexplained pain and swelling in my uterus. It was not a joke! This is when I knew something needed to be addressed. And thankfully, my work in Sensuality was a perfect primer for being able to “listen” to this very loud call from my body!! I felt the pain begin and I knew to pay attention to what stories or memories were arising around that same time. What was coming up? What was going on in my life around me, that was directing me where I needed to go?
I asked my body: What do you need right now? And applied Shamanic techniques that would allow it communicate with me very directly.
Connecting to ourselves, to our sexuality, requires listening to what our body has to say.
Every. Single. Day.
Taking time to listen, hearing the messages and then taking the required action.
Alongside the fabulous woman who took me through the release processes, this experience was at once revealing, confusing, emotional and raw. But it also allowed me to reconnect to a deeper sense of self. I can “feel” something has physically changed. I had an “empty” place near the area of my womb. Like this zone was just blocked out, making my Sacral Chakra low, all the time. And needing constant regenerating just to keep up. I have now filled it with conscious awareness that I move back into everyday. Through body movement, dance, breathing techniques, using that fabulous Yoni Egg.
Why do this work? Because it was time, because it called me forward and mostly because this is IMPORTANT work to do in our lifetime!
I can absolutely see the effects this has had on my life, and how essential being connected to our bodies has been on the lives of those I assist as well! Creativity and drive boosted, attachments melt away, there is an inner strength that emerges, and a capacity to receive from life, TRUSTING how it is developing, regardless of the twists and turns!
Once I began doing the work, I could feel the awakening. When we work on this level, we open from the depths of our body out and there is nothing more beautiful than that.
Connecting to the ESSENCE of our humanity.
This work isn’t easy. I was in pain, I felt confused, I felt weak, and as I underwent the visualizations, the energy healings, the forgiveness… every time, something switched. Something opened a little more. I could feel my WHOLE body again!
The biggest switch lies in knowing my story no longer involves me being a “victim” of my circumstances. I know what the triggers are, how they are rooted from these past experiences, and I can work WITH them now, instead of feeling like I’m a total freak of nature.
In hopes that this experience will speak to that part of you that knows it’s time to reconnect. To REALLY reconnect. And little by little, once we say yes to truly working with our Sensuality, our Sexuality, and start listening, it gets pretty damn chatty!!
The more we allow this opening, the more pleasure we can feel. And man, the more fun life gets!!
But like everything else, it takes time, energy, a genuine desire and loving focus.
And it is absolutely worth it.
If you know it’s time…
I would love to introduce you to the woman who helped me with the above discoveries. Her name is Eden Grace:
“Medical Intuitive, Energetic Healer, Woman’s Embodiment Coach and creator of Womb Essence, a healing modality for women, to help heal deep emotional pain, trauma and disease, through re-connection to womb and feminine energy.”
This is powerful work. You can connect with Eden here:
May this path to self-ReDiscovery bring you so much light, love and inner strength.
(and let’s not forget the FUN stuff that comes with it!!)