We can experience so much resistance when connecting with our inner Sensual Woman.
Sitting in my Barcelona apartment, on the Eve of a Sex, Love & Relationship Coaching Certification... I can tell you: I understand how HARD it can be to start working deeply with our BODY and sexuality. And to connect further, with our inner Sensual Woman.
I've spent the last few months experiencing all the ways my body attempts to resist this incoming change. See if it resonates:
- The avoidance and excuses
- Putting things off until the never-ending LATER
- Finding the other shiny objects that conveniently distract me from pushing through and doing the work that's most needed.
- Even getting physical responses to just starting, such as getting sick.
Now, I've done quite a bit of work on my body and energy over the years, yet this Tantra Certification is a major up-levelling. I GET how challenging it is to STEP UP. To KNOW deep down that this is where we need to go, while simultaneously feeling the urge to run in the other direction.
And I've noted two major reasons for this resistance:
1- Because we have been taught that our PLEASURE is something to fear, that is wrong, greedy, not for us, something we need to be careful with... that feeling good means we are sluts, promiscuous, and on and on and on. That it's DANGEROUS!
2- We know deep down that this work will have a huge impact on every part of our lives, and we are protecting ourselves against this major transformation. Against the unknown of what will become. There is a distrust in opening further: What if it becomes too much, or I turn into a wild crazy sex animal once this energy is unleashed?
Combine BOTH of the above and you've got some serious grounds for Mademoiselle La Résistance to come in and take over our thoughts and actions!!
But once we know WHY Mademoiselle is doing this: that it is out of love and to protect us from harm, it becomes easier, little by little, to simply see her for what she is. Thank her....
And do it anyways.
And why is this so important?
We could easily just forget about it and live our lives with our eyes closed and our hands over our ears right?
Right. And who wants to do that? This isn't what life is for... is it?
This work with our BODIES, with our SENSES, with our SEXUALITY, is important because we are not only changing our own lives for the better, and I can promise you, we absolutely are,
but we are also changing the way the world we live in, will experience their sexual natures and their bodies from this moment on!!
Helping our daughters, sons and their daughters and their sons to thrive in their bodies! We are opening ourselves to becoming a stronger, more grounded, creative and intuitively-connected society that embraces the Sensual Woman (and Man!) in all of his-her power and beauty!!
And if this is not a good enough reason, how about this?
Because holy crap, YOU DESERVE it!
Now I'm not talking about the hoarding kind of deserving or anything at other people's expense. This isn't about pay-back, or resentment against men for past actions and ways of life. I don't buy that crap and I'm a firm believer in needing BOTH masculine and feminine elements in as much balance as possible to thrive. Both parties putting forward their best and most genuine, to make it all work.
It's about simply acknowledging that this is no longer the way we wish to BE!!
We have been taught to repress. We have been taught to remain quiet.
We have been taught to hold back, yet be available to other people's needs when it is demanded of us.
And this simply doesn't work anymore.
This is OUR TIME to rise back into our full power and potential, and we are worthy of every ounce of PLEASURE that our innate Sensual Woman, Man, BODY and SENSES have to offer.
AND HOLY JUICINESS this Badass Sensual Woman has a lot to give! We've only scratched the surface of what this baby of a BODY can do.
So I invite you today, to be courageous and connect with what she has to say.
It doesn’t have to be all at once...
For now, simply take one small action: Share with me the ONE THING that you desire most for your BODY and / or SEXUALITY that you don't currently have or experience.
You can either comment below, if you feel open to sharing publicly, and if you need a more private space, sign up for the Sensual Revolution weekly Love Letter and let's open the conversation. Join me (and your other sisters and brothers) and fulfill your one small action of the day:
Let me know what you DESIRE MOST for your BODY. Is it an EMOTION? Is it a SENSATION? Is it an ACTION or life circumstance?
I will SEE you in it and acknowledge that you are not alone! We are together in this collective (yet very unique and personal) Sensual Revolution. And it's going to have its challenges, but it's also a beautiful moment to be alive.
With so much love & sexy vibrations all over,
Conscious Sexuality & Empowerment Coach, Desire Guide, FireStarter
“Soulfully and Powerfully Alive: Transformational Tantric & Taoist Coaching for Men and Women on a Mission”
Photos: Cover and second photo by Veruschka Normandeau at MagicWood Studios
Absolutely adore the rawness of this blog post, Xine! Like many women, I have been withholding my true authenticity from years of confusion, shame, and distractions to unleash my inner tigress. I have been working on my dissertation and while researching and taking a plunge within, discovering the parts of me that had been silenced, I am finding balance with my feminine/masculine energies. Sexuality though has been put on the backburner and this is something that I am taking gently (37 weeks pregnant with my second baby, sensuality has sort of fled the scene). What I desire most is to feel the innate sensuality and sexiness as a mother. To feel like just because I’m a mama now, doesn’t mean I can’t be sexy anymore. Doesn’t mean I should hide that side of me. I shouldn’t feel ashamed for it. It all comes back full circle on reclaiming these aspects of myself. And it’s been a lot of trial and error on the path of self-discovery. So I thank you for your wonderful guidance on your blog!
Heck yeah Maya! I love your passion. Congratulations on your pregnancy on on being SO CLEAR about what you desire!!
There is absolutely no reason for you NOT to be a sexy, hot juicy mama after you have birthed your little creation into this world. In fact, using a Jade Egg is an AMAZING way to get that process underway as it helps you restore and strengthen your pelvic and vaginal muscles. And beyond that, it helps you reconnect to that luscious energy, and to feeling into your sexual nature again. I wish I would have known about this after my babies were born. Haha! 🙂 Enjoy your beautiful incoming adventure!! I am cheering you on.
What are the boundaries when it comes to sex? Here’s when you should give in a little and when you should stand your ground.
Great question! This always comes down to what feels most empowering to you. If your body feels like a NO in a certain situation with a partner, and you’ve always had unclear boundaries, it is extremely healing to uphold that NO and create a strong trust within your body. If you’ve always resisted doing any kind of personal sexuality work, but you know this is the more empowering move, then this is when you will want to hold yourself through this resistance, let your body know she is safe and keep going, gently, with love. I hope this answered your question <3