A life transition…
We met 17 years ago…
On a chaotic night, filled with fast cars, urban penthouse affairs, loud music and a sudden rip of the record as two police women entered. We had to be taken down a noisy notch… and got away with so much more.
I was in the very last dregs of a relationship that no longer held my soul. And here you came, much younger than I was, swooping me in with your worldly ways. Teaching me how to drink Sake, eat sushi and use chopsticks…
You helped me see that life didn’t have to be the way I had always known it to be. That there is so much more to explore out in this world… From that moment on, our adventure began.
We’ve gone through experiences most people only see in the movies. And it has been one hell of a ride. Gangsters, guns, parties and various intoxicating substances that make your head swirl… including home-brewed absinthe! Some experiences were a blast, others aged me horribly.
We’ve seen each other through University studies, through parenthood, through working life, tons of debt and then total freedom from it. We’ve shared the stage in various bands, making crashing waves of sound and creative connections in several art scenes and the occasional sexy gathering.
We’ve travelled the world, raised our kids to be (and yes I am biased) almost perfect. Considering the crazy parents we’ve been, I’m so grateful at how beautiful and strong they are turning out to be.
Three years ago, we made the bold decision of moving from Montreal, Canada, overseas to Montpellier France and what an incredible journey this has been. How much it has cracked us and our family open to new experiences, new people, helping us connect with new ways of thinking and being. Some we’ve appreciated fully, others less…
Two years ago, we started seeing our lives take slight turns in differing directions and made the conscious decision to open the marriage. This was one of the most challenging things I have ever had to work with, and one of the most exhilarating. Facing our shadows in such a direct way has been a holy smack in the face, on multiple occasions. But it has grown me tremendously and opened the gate for the tiger, to be unleashed.
As time goes by, we have come to a point where a transition is called for. We have made the decision to step into a new adventure. One that, to some, might feel like an ending, but to us, will be an amazing source of growth, both for our “selves” as individual people, and for our relationship to each other.
Our physical homes are now separate, but our connection, our history, our story, will never be.
As we move forward, both together and apart, we have allowed space to discover who we are at our core. This next phase, will only make us stronger, know ourselves better, and allow us to see each other as whole, perfect beings again.
As we create the space for this new phase of self exploration, I don’t know where we are headed exactly. But does anyone ever truly know? In all honesty, looking back to what we have undergone, and how little we could have predicted, part of me doesn’t even want to know… and is excited to see what will arise.
It feels open, it feels excruciating… but it also feels exactly right, to allow life to lead the way for a while. Learning to lean into the sensation of trust that whatever needs to take shape, now has the space to do so. No need for control, no desire for expectation and no white-knuckle holding on, to the “absolutes” that never truly exist.
So things are changing for this family quad. Changes that are taking some getting used to, but that come with their own special moments and surprises.
Whatever is coming, I can feel it in my bones, it will be quite magical.
For all involved.
I love you and thank you for being exactly who you are…
With appreciation for everything we have lived, what we have learned and all the amazing adventures still to come…
(Cover photo by Ariane Jonassen, Beach pic by Martin King)